Monday, June 30, 2014

Fiction: The Acts of the Chief High Judge, ch1-3 [pop culture gospel]

This story at Archive of Our Own
At Fanfiction.net

Also included this week

Part of the Other Faces of Tom Riddle series: If the hat had shouted for Ravenclaw... If Slughorn had been his introduction to Hogwarts and the magical world... If Grindelwald had beaten Dumbledore...
It didn't have to be this way. For better, for worse, there are other paths that Tom Riddle could have walked, other faces he could have worn.

Unlikely: Chapter six. Harry is in Ravenclaw. Harry is in Hufflepuff. Voldemort is many, Riddle is triumphant. There are more worlds than one, my friend, more histories that could have been, and two of them are about to make a very unlikely collision. (double AU reacharound). FF.net link. Ficwad link.


The Acts of the Chief High Judge

Chapter one


1         Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth a writing of the things of he that was the Chief High Judge (blessed be the name that is not spoken),
2         And seeing how many errors have crept into the understanding of the people, as pertains to his doings and his words,
3         It seemed good to me also, having a more perfect understanding of all things from the very first, having heard the words of the Chief High Judge (blessed be the name &c &c) even as they fell from his lips, to write unto thee, most humble Billy, son of my sister and that rapscallion she calls her husband,
4         In order that thou mightest know the certainty of those things, wherein thou hast been instructed
5         (And I do apologize for calling your father a rapscallion, for verily we did both promise your mother, after that incident with the noodles and the combine harvester, that we would be civil regarding each other from thenceforth)

6         Now it came to pass that in the beginning there was the Big House
7         And the Big House was aptly-named, yea, even as it was very big, and was a house, even a house for the Man Upstairs, who dwelt therein.
8         And in the Big House were many rooms.
9         And so vast was the Big House, and so numerous its rooms, that it came to pass that the Man Upstairs could not maintain them all.
10     And it came to pass that he hired the services of a janitor, yea, even The Janitor, who cleaneth all things.
11     And it came to pass that The Janitor did go out into each and every room, cleaning withersoever he went.
12     And in one of the rooms he came across a world, yea, even our own.
13     (Now though it may be vast to us, The Janitor is vaster still, and to Him it was as a marble is to your hand and this is how it was contained within a room, and unnoticed by the Man Upstairs)
14     And The Janitor saw that the world was besieged by the Dust, yea, even the forces of Chaos and all destruction and tyranny.
15     And he did see as the dust-bunnies, and the dust-gaunts, and the dust-bears, did crawl forth and make war upon the children of the world in a thousand terrible forms.
16     And The Janitor did take His mighty tools, yea, even His broom, and His mop, and His white glove,
17     And it came to pass that He did clean the whole room,
18     Yea, for He did clean the floors, and under the couch, and around it, and even in between the cushions thereof, wherein he found a penny,
19     And He did even clean the knickknacks that were upon the exceedingly-hard-to-reach shelves.
20     And it came to pass that, having cleaned the whole room, He did pass out of the room by the way from which He had come,
21     For He was The Janitor, and in His Master’s house were many rooms, and all these needed cleaning.
22     But it was written, as had been told to the wise and the humble in their sleep, that The Janitor would return again,
23     For verily, verily, the work did never cease, and as soon as the last room was clean so would someone knocketh over the fine china or spill expensive wine on the white carpet in another room. Even so.
24     (And it came to pass that a dragon did come into the room, but the dragon then left straightway again, for he was drunken from a party being held elsewhere in the Big House, and was merely very lost)

Chapter two: Ao3 link. FF.net link
Chapter three: Ao3 link. FF.net link

No comments:

Post a Comment