Friday, June 20, 2014

Idea: Once a Slavetrader, Always a Santa Claus

Cast your thoughts back to the last ice age, for it is then that our tale begins.

Fairieland, you see, is a very cold place, a veritable winter wasteland. Its inhabitants don’t deal very well with heat. It is for this reason that the Good People aren’t so common in modern times, but back in the bad old days they flitted in and out of their Grand Doors to our world (and to many other worlds as well, but for those we humans neither had nor have no concern).

Humans are highly prized as slaves, being intelligent and hardy creatures, and the being which we will one day know as Santa has made a fortune in capturing humans and then stuffing them in his sack before carrying them back to the great, factory-choked cities of Fairieland. One day, however, he had a change of heart. Perhaps he discovered guilt, or perhaps he simply had became bored with slaving and wished for a change of pace (as the Fair Folk are known to do).

Then as now, Santa had a knack for getting into even the most highly-guarded locations, so that he could stuff a few of the smallest children into his sack and carry them back safely to freedom. For those he must leave behind, he also left behind a sack full of tools with which to break out, and food for the journey back.

And thus was the beginning of our winter holidays, celebrating the gifts that saved us when the world was at its coldest and fey, alien predators stalked our nightmares.
  • How does the Krampus figure into this? 
  • Are the elves other fairies that Santa bound to his service? Children that continued to help Santa at the cost of being magically twisted by long exposure to his magic? 
  • What's up with the milk and cookies? 
  • I think that Santa only has one eye. You know, like Odin. 

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